keep your head up high, boys! it's not called best of three for nothing ;)

my knee made dozens of small steps forward during these weeks. yesterday it made a step back, without its fault. it was my responsibility and i'm sorry. i went back home and felt angry, not for the first time, but for the last. defeating the dragons in my knee is a fight, nothing else. a fight against the pain, a fight against time and a fight with and against my passion for this sport in the same moment. my rage is gone today, because i know myself. yesterday can't beat today and especially not tomorrow. and i will be where the pictures in my head already are.

i collected a lot of material during my training time in austria. there is going to be a film about these steps forward and back and forward. watch the defeating dragons trailer. and kneever give up.

last ten minutes, come on booooooys! one more.

looking at a picture, taken twenty years ago. seeing a little boy, already packed with pride, focus and arrogancy, answering questions about his later plans by saying "becoming a professional football player", doubting not a single second. spending hours and hours on bad fields and greens, forcing his dad to play with him every evening, losing a lot of friends, breaking with the officials due to their bad training, working on his own, meeting the right person at the right time. and suddenly reaching his aims within five minutes of playing premier league football. much too fast for his dominant mind, much too fast for succeeding continously. when he dared the step back after just one and a half years of professionality, dozens of people came to ask him, if he is crazy. people, that didn't know him then, and don't know him now.

everything i did in my career was right. giving myself time to grow, even if i wasn't aware of the exact direction. letting my heart finally beat my head, after years of mental imprisonment. refinding my passion. if i have learned somewhat precious in the last year, it is the need to invest in the things you love. even if there are times, when nothing's coming back to you. when amortisation is far far away. when you are about to lose.

last day in groningen, going back to austria in the evening. therapizing my knee for one month, training the shit out of me, to be ready at the second of july. because the boy in the picture is the man now.